begin to dig

i am here. with my thoughts. with my house. with my 2 cats. with my kitchen filled with pots, pans, cookbooks, and memories. with my plants growing with wild abandon. but without my husband, eric, who died just a few months ago (a few days before thanksgiving of 2010). he was 34 and had a long struggle with cancer. yet despite the lack of 'suddeness' of his death, i'm still struck with the incredulity that it happened. 

so now i am here. in my mid-thirties transitioning back from a life of 'we' to a life of 'i'. wondering how to move forward and find the motivation to do so. hence this blog. one thing eric and i loved doing together was gardening, specifically growing our own vegetables. as the winter wore on these past few months i was determined, no matter how much force of will it would take, that i would get the garden started. first as seedlings in the basement.  then hopefully as the weather warms to the yard. this blog is an attempt to keep that motivation going by sharing the gardening experience with others. it is also an attempt to rekindle my interest in food and cooking again. i have to be honest, it's not much fun cooking for one.  i've been 'eating to live' and not 'living to eat.' so now with the garden started, and the promise of upcoming harvests, i hope to renew that fire in my belly and take to the kitchen again. 

here i am.  ready to get started.  ready to dig to eat.